That said, 2022 certainly was not without its challenges and changes. I found myself in the midst of economic, social, and physical transitions. Some were gratifying and joyful; others brought distress, discouragement, and disappointment, yet others brought a great deal of pain and sorrow. Each time, I had to choose how I would approach these challenges and changes. I didn’t always make the "right" choice(s), therefore the consequences of those choices weren’t always good or nice when Life handed me “a bunch of shit.”
I was recently in a meeting where the question was asked: “What is one goal you have for the New Year?” We went around the “Zoom Room” and each person gave their answer…increased productivity, time management, “hit the gym”, acquire “X” amount of new clients, members, etc. I gave it some thought as I listened to the responses, and when it came around to me, I said:
“I am the goal.”
There was a bit of silence, so I went on to explain that we have a great team here and it’s because every single one of us brings one or several components of value to the table…our time, talents, and/or treasures. The reason(s) for those values lie within each and every one of us, every second, minute, day, quarter, and year of our lives...but at the end of the day, it is me who has to live with myself:
So often I have been influenced, invested in, and wrapped up in the aspiring goals of others, sometimes based upon expectations and rules controlled and/or marketed by powers-that-be that exist outside all of our little "bubbles", creating a unique brand of predilection and “tunnel vision.” Then, when challenges come along, we are wide open to derailment…then discouragement or regret set in, and we feel like giving up. Sometimes I felt like I was flailing on an open, raging sea, or desperately scratching and clawing upwards, trying to keep from falling into an abyss. I was struggling for peace, rather than making the choices that led to it.
On top of that, despair can set in. Then we beat ourselves up…so we reach for the drug, the pill, the bottle, the sermon, the system, or any number of things we “go-to” or try to convince ourselves and dissuade the thoughts and feelings that we “failed” when the truth might be that we really didn’t. It happened. It just is.
Everything happens for a reason; everything has a purpose. Never do I believe this more than when I look back on my own history lessons. My timeline is based upon the choices I’ve made on my own Journey, and many of them were based upon rules and expectations made by those outside my own Self, my own little bubble. It’s so easy to slip into reacting instead of acting…and whether the consequences were based upon mine or the choices of others, I got so used to others defining me and telling me who I was and am, that I was almost compelled to believe things about myself that weren't true. I’d automatically switch into a defensive “survival mode” and that is a very lonely place to be. Thankfully, I have many Angels and Nouns that step in, just at the right time, to bless and enrich my Life.
Last year I noticed a pattern, and now (besides my three “B”s) I have Four “C”s: Choices, Challenges, Changes, and Consequences. My approach to all four has helped me be more aware of the wisdom I have gained on my Journey, from birth to the present, and truly live a life of Faith, Hope, and Love.
Choices
You’ve heard it said, “You are the choices you make.” Understanding our everyday choices–even on the micro/nano level–can help us remember and reflect upon what we’ve learned and have been programmed with throughout our Lives. The past is the past; you cannot change it. But even if you could, would you? Sometimes we are greatly affected by the choices of others, which often leaves us no choice but to be strong. Other times, making a choice on a scale or certain level of risk can either lift us to the sky or plunge us to the ground.
Once you make a choice, change and consequences come into play. For example…choosing a wobbly chair instead of a proper stepladder, choosing to drive under the influence instead of taking an Uber, taxi or giving the keys to a sober friend, choosing to be in a toxic relationship (or choosing to be the abuser) instead of getting help, choosing to listen/believe or spread gossip instead of finding out the facts, choosing to destroy than to build, choosing to be mean rather than nice, choosing to be bad rather than good…the list goes on for the Nouns that affect human history's Timeline.
Challenges
When I found myself flailing, scratching, or clawing, or if I had been handed “a bunch of shit,” the reality bubble had already popped, and I often tried very hard not to do the blame game. Sometimes it’s very clear who or what is to blame, but many times, it is not. Either way, does it really matter? Presently, It is what it is. Blaming ourselves or others only wastes time in moving forward, and to see clear enough to rise above the situation. It can rot your soul if you can’t let go, so you must find a way to do it. Taking ownership of our choices is the first step to trodding a better Path...or staying stuck in the one we're in.
However…maybe you’re sick and tired of the status quo and you find yourself challenging the powers that be for a better life, a better world, and a better future. Countless sacrifices have been made throughout history, and they have not been in vain. Again, everything happens for a reason; everything has a purpose.
“Peace will not come out of a clash of arms but out of justice lived and done by unarmed nations in the face of odds.” - Mahatma Ghandi
Changes
I often ask myself: “Who or what is in control? And if it’s not me, who or what is?” Contemplating this as I make choices and experience the challenges can help me through the impending changes. I pray through them. Prayer and meditation give me peace, but I also focus on and seek the Truth, which can sometimes make you uncomfortable (especially when there’s a denial of it). However, it can also snap you out of those programmed comfort zones, routines, and status quo ruts. I first have a responsibility to the health of my own heart, mind, body, and soul, or I’m no good to anything or anyone, including myself!
This is what I mean by “I am the goal.” All of my choices, all challenges, and changes should be in harmony with being nice, being good, and being strong. It doesn’t mean I don’t or won’t have bad days or never, ever have a bad attitude. It also doesn’t mean I’ll never, ever make a “wrong” choice again. What it does mean is that I become more mindful and aware, expect the unexpected, and pray through the challenges and changes so I never lose hope. So it’s…
A=Me
B=Be good, be nice, be strong.
C=Choices, Challenges, Changes and…
Consequences
Many years ago I interviewed a Wiccan friend for a local newspaper; she had a metaphysical store...sold crystals, wands, potions and blends, jewelry, did readings, etc. Particularly interested in the “readings” aspect, I inquired how it works, and she said that she was "basically, a very underpaid therapist.” LOL I asked her if she’d do a reading on me. She said, "You don’t need one.” When I asked why, she said, “Because you already know who you are.”
Over a decade later, I finally understood what she meant. Prophecy and/or “readings” are mathematical; they’re based on a balance of 1) a history of choices and consequences, 2) accurate and true information, and ultimately, 3) probability, or the likelihood that one will either continue to choose the Path they're already on, or have the ability and strength to choose another. If the information given is flawed, the prophecy or reading will be flawed, meaning…if one does not choose to set their ego aside and isn’t completely honest with themselves or others, or chooses to withhold information, the prophecy/reading is useless. There may be guiding elements, but if there is little or no truth in the Self, there is no point in the reading. You can make the choice(s), but cannot choose or control the consequences.
The problem is often the Ego.
“Ego never accepts the truth.”
The Buddha
I’m going to redefine this a bit by saying that the ego sometimes accepts the truth, but never, ever enough. More seek and strive after acceptance, membership, celebrity, accolades, titles, authority, power, and control. As a consequence, when choices have been made and the challenges follow, the truth is hidden or replaced with lies, false narratives, marketed, shiny exteriors…pure, unadulterated Faith is replaced with systematic, man-made beliefs, Hope is replaced by defenses, “go-to”s and “survival modes”, and Love becomes conditional. The Ego bubble is quite strong.
It is said that out of all of the Seven Deadly Sins (lust, envy, anger, greed, glutton, sloth)...pride is the deadliest of all. We have a whole world history chock full of consequences based on choices made out of pride and egos, and to date, we still haven’t realized how very destructive they are.
Peace begins with me, so if I want peace on earth and goodwill for all, I am the goal. If “Emmanuel” is defined as God with us, this should be reflected in the life I live and the choices I make, which in turn should inspire and convict the Truth in my heart (and even in the hearts of others) to be good, be nice and be strong…and if I pop a few bubbles along the way, at least I know that I am staying true to myself and continuing on in knowing who I am.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have Love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have Love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have Love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…
…For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known...
(1 Corinthians 13: 1-12)
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