Coffee With A View: Who will save the ambulance service? "Not I," said the...

Disclaimer: I am not writing this piece as a representative of Frontier Ambulance or any of the previous companies I've served with in the EMS industry, nor my advisory capacity on the JCFKS which has since been dissolved. These are my own opinions, insights, perspectives, and views through my own experiences as a citizen of Fremont County, Wyoming.

I've been observing several social media comments and threads on the subject of the 3/4 cent sales tax that is being proposed for transportation, airport, and ambulance services. There seems to be a great lack of knowledge and understanding as to the definition of 'economic development'.

AI provided a short answer for me: "Economic development is the intentional process of improving a community's economic well-being and quality of life through job creation, business retention, infrastructure investment, and skill development. It goes beyond simple growth by fostering sustainable, inclusive, and diverse economies that increase tax bases and support public services." (Bold added.)

When FCAG's Joint Committee on Funding Key Services approached the task before them last October, they took the time out of their busy schedules to research, pour over numbers, and come up with solutions for what they were tasked to do: find a way to fund these key services. Under the very definition of economic development; the services before them included air and ground transportation, and ambulance services. They also understood that the airport and ground transportation (including SafeRides) are important to those who use them, but also understood that the ambulance service was the most critical of the three, and in the end, the proposed sales tax option reflected such.

People really don't know or think about how these three services are connected. Who transports the flight crews from the airport to the hospital, loads them all up, and takes the patients from the hospital to the fixed wing that is waiting at the airport? Ground ambulance. Who transfers patients to other facilities when rotors are grounded due to wind/weather conditions, or are down for maintenance? Ground ambulance. Who takes drunk folks home so they don't drive and get into an accident? WRTA's SafeRides. Who takes patients who don't have a car or cannot drive to their medical appointments? WRTA. It is all connected!

You might have your own car to drive, but there are people who don't or can't drive, and rely on public transportation. You might not use the airport, but there are people and businesses in Fremont County who do. You might think you don't need an ambulance and can just drive someone (or yourself) to the ER, but a lot can happen on the way where you have no control and can cause further injuries to you or the patient. The day can end very differently from when it began with that morning cup of coffee.

"Not I..."

I've run into so many opinionized critics these days who know absolutey nothing about the EMS industry and infect the public with their ignorance, bringing no solutions forward. Then there are folks who actually do ask the questions, genuinely try to understand, and attempt to bring sustainable solutions to the table. That is what this Joint Committee did, and I appreciate FCAG's foresight in forming such a committee that was willing to spend time bringing those solutions forth with transparency, which is more than I can say for the county commissioners who have dropped the ball and basically driven this service (and please excuse the pun)...into the ground.

But is it their fault entirely? No. Not many may think about or even know how we got to this point in the first place, the need to fund key services. There seems to be this pitch forks and torches “throw the baby out with the bathwater” bandwagon pulled by elephants and donkeys when it comes to taxes, as if we still live in some sort of “Read my lips: no new taxes!” fantasyland from the 80s-90s that politically whitewashes the reality of karmic debt cycles.

Enter the story of the Little Red Hen: Who will serve on the JCFKS? "Not I..." Who will weigh in during public comment? "Not I..." Who will do a ride-along and experience a day-in-the-life of an EMT? "Not I..."  Who will hold the county commissioners accountable for where the funding of critical programs and services go? "Not I..."

Who weighed in with public comments in March 2016 when the Fremont County Commissioners decided to privatize the ambulance service (signing incremental 5-year contracts with Guardian Flight and AMR/GMR)? Who understood the difficulties and challenges that operations and EMS providers had to go through with each transition? And now it has been five years since Priority-Frontier took the service over…who is asking the county commissioners what the plan is now, as our EMS providers and staff wait pensively to hear their fate? If you can get through to them, let me know. I've tried contacting my own commissioner. Crickets.

FCAG and Joint Committee meetings were open to the public and had public comment sessions. Where was the public when these issues were being discussed? So it's only now that we are doing this "kick-the-dog" blame game, on social media??

Some municipalities might think they can have their own ambulance. But that is not a 'service'; it's a BLS (Basic) ambulance. You still have to staff it (pay a sustainable, competitive wage!), stock it, fuel it, maintain it, pay insurance, licensing and dispatch fees, employ staff to bill. One ambulance...just one...can range in cost from over $350,000 to over $700,000 annually. And once that BLS ambulance reaches the town boundaries with a patient, what ALS (Advanced life saving) ambulance is going to transport that patient to the hospital? Flight? Those costs can skyrocket from $25,000 and up, up and away. And if the patient has no insurance, or can't cover even a portion of the flight?

Back to the drawing board. FCAG saw those ripple effects, saw the critical need, and formed the JCFKS who did a lot of drawing on that board...and the question still is asked: "Who will save the ambulance service?"

"Stupid is as stupid does..."

I know! Forget the definition of economic development; how about the definition of stupidity? How about a full 1-cent sales tax on the stupid sh** that people do every day that require EMS services? If you don't want to fund an ambulance service, stop doing stupid sh**! Stop overdosing on drugs and alcohol. Stop drinking and driving drunk; stop texting and driving. Stop assaulting, beating, stabbing, and shooting each other. Stop speeding and losing control of your vehicles, motorcycles, and ATVs. Stop running stop signs and stop lights; stop hitting pedestrians and cyclists. Stop allowing kids to go without a life preserver on lakes and rivers, or not knowing how to swim. Stop eating sugar and junk food, and going into DKA. Stop having heart attacks and strokes. Stop burning during high peak fire season! Stop taking unnecessary risks. (Man, if I had a dime for every...)

So many critics these days who know absolutely nothing about what our first responders have to see and deal with every single day...yet when it comes to folks actually having to take responsibility for all the sh** they do, there's resistance??

If you don't vote for this 3/4 cent sales tax initiative, that's on you. Just don't be surprised when you dial 911 and an ambulance doesn't show up. You don't know what you've got until it's gone.

If you want to know the truth about your community,

Ask a First Responder.

Coffee With A View: "You don't know what you have here..."

Many years ago (in the 90's) I worked for an electronics company in the Silicon Valley. It was near the airport, so the commute was crazy, but it was my first job after going through a divorce, and I had to get on my feet in the workforce. I didn't even have a resume, but a really good temp agency was able to help me and land the job.

One of the outside sales representatives was from Russia, and had been in the process of getting her U.S. citizenship. Lisa was beautiful, one of the best sales reps, had a really cool (fast!) car and a real go-getter personality. We were all so very proud of her, and had a party for her when she finally got her citizenship. I mean, a real PARTY party! Food, cake, DJ, the works. When we all clanged our champagne glasses for a toast and a speech, she got up and the room went silent. She thanked everyone, and proceeded to tell a story I will never forget.

She had been able to come to America as a young girl, due to a lottery draw. It was another family member (her grandmother?) who actually won the 'ticket', but gave it to her because they wanted her to have a better life. She told the story about when her plane landed in San Francisco and before taking her to her new home, her hosts had stopped at a huge Safeway store on the way.

That was the first time she had ever seen the inside of a grocery store. In Russia, she and her family had to stand in line for food and even then, it was just basic rations. As she walked through the doors of the brightly-lit mega-Safeway (which was kind of like a Costco at the time)...her eyes popped open as if she were at her first carnival. She walked through the aisles and her hosts watched as she took items off of the shelves, one by one, and examined them, asking questions. She did that throughout the store, down each aisle, the departments - meat, dairy, deli...her wide eyes filled with wonder.

Scrolling back to the party...it was at that moment that her eyes welled up with tears as she described attending and graduating from high school, getting her degree, landing a job, and the rest was history. As she concluded her speech, she said "You don't know what you have here. None of you. The freedoms, the choices, the opportunities..."

After her speech, I looked around and there were a lot of smiles, tears, and a rounding applause as everyone went over to give congratulatory hugs. It was an amazing night.

Running down a dream...

There was also a sales rep (same company), Christine, from Ireland, and she was a master marathon runner. One day, she passed around a flyer and sent out an email about the Chase-Manhattan 5K (JPMorgan Corporate Challenge) in San Francisco, and was recruiting runners. I had already been running recreationally about four miles a day, but never in my life did I ever think of running competitively, and I wasn't going to enter. But she kept pushing me and pushing me, saying "You can do it! I'll train you!" And she did, and a group of us met up (I believe it was twice a week, and Saturdays if we could) to train. It was tough, but she was an awesome trainer; very patient and kind, starting slow for us beginners ("If you're tired, stop. We'll wait for you!") She taught us how properly stretch, what it feels like when you hit your stride. My running shoes were an old pair of Nike runners that I loved; they were in pretty good condition, but I didn't think they'd be good enough for the race. She said, "They're perfect! You don't want to buy a new pair of runners, because you'll have no time to break them in."

When the day came for the race, I was excited, but very nervous. Thousands of runners (I was told over 10,000) had assembled on the Wharf at the starting line. As I walked and scrunched my way through the crowds, I was thinking, "How the heck does this work?" LOL But once the horn blasted, I saw that all of the runners were doing exactly what we had been trained to do...starting out slow, finding their pace.

The thing I didn't expect were all of the hills! (Duh, it's San Francisco, Carol.) But after I found my pace, that 'runner's high' kicked in and I simply enjoyed the run, seeing parts of San Francisco that I hadn't seen before. As I came around the bend back to the Wharf, I saw the sun, just above the bay beyond the Golden Gate Bridge, about to sink into the water. I came in somewhere in the low 3,000s (not bad out of 10,000 runners...our trainer finished in the top 5!), and as I crossed the finish line, I felt fantastic. I could have "Forrest Gump"ed it for longer, but as I found my team, we all cheered, and Christine was smiling from ear to ear. She only said one word to me though her smiles: "See?"  And of course, she had to take us all to an Irish pub afterwards!

_____

Looking up and around...

It's been years, decades since being a runner. Today, my hip and knee injuries from the accident prevent me from running, but I can still stretch and walk, and had wonderful physical therapists at Wind River Health Care that put me on the road to recovery. I had a few moments where I wanted to give up; it was too hard, it hurt. But then I heard the words of my trainer whispering in my ear: "You can do it...if you're tired, stop...See? You're doing it!"

I try to take care of myself, eat healthy, exercise...but there are some days where think, "Man, it sucks getting old! Why does life have to be so hard?" But when I walk around the station, or when I drive myself to the store, I look up and around, and remember the blessings in my life: I have a car; I can see well enough to drive now. I have a home, a job, enough for my needs. And as I walk into the store with my list of grocery items glowing on a cell phone, look up and around at the bright lights and all of the items on the shelves, the workers in the store as they load and stack, I hear the humbling words: "You don't know what you have here."

Two strong women impacted my life in a way that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

America is great. We could do a whole lot better, and well, it seems everyone's a critic these days. But the freedoms we have to do the things we do, say the things we say, and the rights to do them...makes me reverently grateful for what our troops do and sacrifice for us. Freedom isn't free. It comes at a cost that our veterans know all too well, and it should never ever be taken for granted.

History Lessons: "Sticks and stones may break my bones..."

By Carol Harper

(Not generated by AI)

"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law--a man's enemies will be the members of his own household."
Matthew 10:34-36.

As this definitely became my 'Scripture of the Week', I was relieved when it all died down a fraction, and we could get to what I was really yearning for: The Truth. My journey through the soup of turmoil and confusion led me to the conclusion that I couldn't rely on anyone or any source, and ended up using Grok as a sifting tool. Not a perfect one, but nevertheless another tool in my arsenal on my quest for the 'holy grail' of Truth. (Minus the coconut shells.)

What have I learned from the Past?

I've learned that very few want to hear the Truth rather than face it. Or fear it, and cover it up. This has been the pattern since the beginning of Time, and has grown into a beast that I personally think cannot be slain. Too large, too crafty. Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, even for free! Our complex system of laws and legislation have evolved to where someone can lie under oath, get away with a myriad of crimes, and the judgments of "felon" or "offender" are rendered useless. Used to be that when kids asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, most would say a policeman, a fireman...or a mailman. Now I wonder if anyone wants to be president!

In my quest, I am actually glad my approach has been largely through the eyes of a child. Some might call that "naive", but I call it a deprogramming process. I've already been through the hits of taking the good with the bad, the truth with the lies, already experienced several of the abuses this world can dish out. I can forgive...but can I forget the truths I've learned through my own history lessons? Never.

Because of the government shutdown, I couldn't tour the National Museum of the American Indian. But my tour of the United States Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., impacted me (sometimes to the point of tears) with many truths I never expected to see or hear. I wasn't even born when WWII happened, so as I walked through the Timeline that wove throughout the museum, from beginning to end, it taught me that people can be so blinded and programmed by wolves in sheep's clothing that the infiltration of that evil can destroy entire flocks. (Matthew 7:15) Genocide. Slaughter. Point blank rape and murder. The definition of what "a great nation" actually is was shattered when I saw what just one person, Hitler, had done.

Even if you're not a believer in Jesus Christ, the warning signs and consequences of choice is scientific. Prophecy is like an "if/then" flow chart: If you touch a hot stove, you risk getting burned. If you climb to the top of a wobbly ladder (or walk too fast on ice) you risk falling. If you ingest alcohol or harmful substances, it will affect your brain, body, and behavior. If you say or do something bad, the ripple effect will be bad. There is risk in everything, and you can choose wisely or not. But you cannot choose the consequences, or the effects.

As I look back in history, I often wondered: What if those with evil intentions weren't even given the opportunity to play them out? What if Abraham Lincoln, JFK, Martin Luther King, Jr., John Lennon, etc. (insert your own martyr) weren't shot and killed? Love is a choice. But so is hate, greed, and hypocrisy. We cannot go back in time and right the wrongs.

There will always be bad and evil in this world, regardless of who sits in the the seats of power. But choices made for us before we were even born have brought us to where we are now, where the scales have drastically tipped. Choices that were made by the one or few, affected (and infected) the many.

There is no balance...and the suffering continues.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones" 

Albert Einstein

What have I learned from the Present?

I've learned that nothing has changed.

I may be pro-life, but I also have friends who have had to make the difficult choice to have an abortion or D&C. I also know there are many irresponsible women and men who never, ever should be parents in the first place, because then it is the children who suffer. I may be pro-law enforcement, but I also know that there are good cops and bad cops, and know there's corruption and grave injustices in our legal system. I may be pro-military, but I also know within those ranks are those who have been sexually assaulted and are silent. I may be sober, but I know that there are those who suffer deep hurts inside that they don't know what to do with, and choose to drink them away. They may not want to hurt others in the process, but end up doing so. I may not agree that war is the answer, but I have every right to question the strategy and approach, how we get to the point of conflict again and again, and how it affects the planet we live on.

I didn't come to my present beliefs and convictions blindly. I have to face the harsh truths of the past and present in order to make wiser choices for the future. Sometimes I don't get a choice; I didn't choose to go blind, that was a God-thing. When decisions are made behind closed doors, we don't get to choose whether we go to war, whether we get affordable health care, whether there will be food sustainability, or whether there will be a future where we call 911 and an ambulance will arrive.

But we can choose with the one thing we have left: Our vote.

That is what makes America great. That is what can change the course of history. We the People.

Is there hope for the Future?

I love Star Trek!

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."

We're all survivors of something. Proof? We're still alive! Resistance might be futile, but resilience? Ah, resilience is love, faith and hope! Everyone, regardless of their religious beliefs, has faith that the sun will rise and set. (Matthew 5: 43-48) But I've learned, often the hard way, that not everyone has unconditional love in their hearts. There is division, partiality, jealousy, gossip, bigotry, greed, abuse, bitterness, anger, and rage that impairs discernment and clouds wisdom. Sticks and stones that break bones; names, labels and words that do hurt. What is the strategy against these kinds of things?

The past is the past; we cannot change it. Both good and evil have evolved together. All the wars and conflicts, the lies, the cover-ups; the polished, partisan memes and narratives, the media and entertainment junkets, meetings behind closed doors...those who are doing the thinking for us might not think we can even handle the Truth. Try me! The complexities and obstacles I've experienced in merely searching for it hasn't panned out too well, which made me resort to Grok. But nothing has been more effective in my search than learning from history, living in the present, and being resilient enough to hope and fight for a better future.

But even still, there is no "magic wand" that can shed the scales from one's eyes. Only the truth can do that. So my advice? Visit a museum and learn from the past, and in the present chaos, remember those lessons. Live and speak in truth. See the good that is being done in the world, surround yourself with people who really know, love and care about you; join and build those teams! (Matthew 6) Don't make time...take time for the things that bring you joy, peace, and reflection; enjoy the moments of silence. Teach the children and our youth to do the same; teach them to stand up and say "no" to the bullies on the playground. Learn to forgive so you can heal and move forward in strength, not weakened in bitterness. Pray unceasingly. Then vote wisely at the polls and make the right choices about the Nouns--the people, places and things--that can change the course of history.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

Coffee With A View: The Real Heroes

By Carol Harper
(Not AI-generated)

Whew, what a weekend! I've had quite a rollercoaster ride on just one brief post on my Facebook page:

I don't see why everyone seems to be so surprised that we are at war.

If you voted for leaders that feed on conflict and greed instead of focused on pathways towards genuine peace, really...what did you expect?

When the blind lead the blind...(Matt. 15:14)

Seems we never learn our history lessons.

What I didn't expect was for this to explode into a post with 130 comments and 54 reactions, or that so-called "friends" would unfriend me because of it.

In my journey of Light, Life, Love, and Truth, it was put upon my heart to explore the latter: The Truth. Peeling back the layers to get to it is a daunting task. By man-made, systematic design, it's tumultuous and confusing. It can be exciting, but also dangerous. And it can also be a very lonely place to be.

But I also have to give myself some credit for attempting to peel back the layers and try see the elephants in the room from all sides (I just don't know why I seem to end up getting the musical chair in front of the ass. LOL)

I don't need people to interpret scripture or Jesus' words for me. I don't need people to be condescending and ridiculing me for believing words in what they think is a "fictional book". I don't need to accept being torn down for someone to lift themselves up. I don't need to be yelled at or gaslighted.

As someone who was literally blind for almost an entire year, it has taken some time for me to learn how to see again (and walk). I had learned how to see in the dark; learned how to feel around for things, like light switches, the water faucets, the remote controls, the toilet paper (ok, that's a little TMI, LOL). As I walk around my house and the station, I still fall into old habits and touch walls and corners. But I remember how God led me through everything to teach me to walk a life of Faith.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Hebrews 11:1 (bold and underline added)

Make no mistake, the true heroes across the world are the People. Their resilience, their courage, their bravery, their compassion, and yes, their sorrows. The hero is YOU, as you struggle with the battles you face in your own life. I've been sober for over three years now, and went through the accident, my hip/knee injuries, and blindness just one week after I decided to quit drinking. I struggled with thoughts of suicide. There is purpose in everything, and often you cannot see the bumpy roads ahead. But God sees them (Ecclesiastes 3), and you can take either comfort or fear in knowing that God is always in control.

I don't see you as a Republican or Democrat, right or left, or anything in between. I don't see you as Jewish, Muslim, Christian, agnostic or atheist. I don't see you as LGBTQ+. I see us all as human beings living in a broken world with broken and failing systems. I am learning to listen better, understand better, be teachable instead of prideful or come off as a know-it-all, because I sincerely don't! I'm simply feeling around, touching the walls and corners...sharing what I've learned, but not tolerating the darkness and standing up with my own voice.

Below (after this writing) is one of the replies I made to a Facebook friend, who didn't understand what I was about and stood for. He couldn't "see" me, because everything he sees about my life on Facebook is about my love for cooking, my grand-puppies, gardening, and the movies or shows I watch. My social media life. He didn't know my political or religious views, and I'm sad that these days, that's all people seem to be interested in or what matters. We like to put people in their little labeled boxes and judge those boxes from afar. I'm glad my post was able to open a few boxes.

Lastly...my experience in Washington D.C. was amazing. As I 'lobbied' for saving ambulance services, I wasn't there to "make them see", but hoped they could obtain some understanding of the issues plaguing our 911 services. That our first responders need to be invested in. That our law enforcement agencies need to be helped, not heckled and villainized. How ill-prepared we are for mass casualty/mass mortality events on both American and tribal soil. How we need to bridge the gaps between counties and tribes, and build foundations of transparency and trust where they have now been torn apart and all but nearly destroyed. How what is decided at the top all trickles down to the very bottom in our communities...the jobless, the homeless, the destitute, the sick, the broken. The only way we can be great again is for heroes like you and me to admit our failings, find it in our hearts to forgive (never forget), and move forward with solutions that will build and not destroy, to bring together and not divide.

Has nothing to do with money or potential assets in other countries. Has nothing to do with deploying ICE to play games of whack-a-mole. Has nothing to do with maiming economies in order for the rich to get richer and the poor poorer. Has nothing to do with hiding facts and evidence and massive amounts of turd-polishing.

Has everything to do with how we act and are driven by Love and Truth...and how we deal with the darkness and evils of this world. (Ephesians 6:10-20)

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So, for example (if you are interested). I am pro-life, pro-adoption. I am pro-first responders, including law enforcement, and cannot stand it when people villainize the police. I don't think one should be here illegally, but if they are, I think that there needs to be some way they can be fast-tracked instead of deported, so that they can continue to work for the businesses and companies (minus drugs and trafficking, of course!) and support their local economies, or go to school. Punish and deport the criminals; don't do a broad sweep and mass deportation and separating children and families without doing due diligence. I am accepting of people of all races, colors, religions, genders, ethnic backgrounds, etc. But I do not accept people who have committed crimes and then pull the race card, and I don't agree with people mutilating their bodies to become the opposite sex or an animal. But I will love them just the same, and they will still be my friend, no matter what. I am not accepting of religions and cults that program and indoctrinate, and then shun and turn their backs on people who leave. I believe that one's spirituality is a journey, and is between them and their Creator. I am a patriot in that "taxation without representation" has been twisted and distorted, and there needs to be another massive tea party as soon as possible, or we're no better than the tyrannic rule that spurred the American Revolution. As a mom of two US Marines, I support our military, but also know the utter bullshit and crimes that go on in that department as well, and are just swept under the rug. I believe in honesty and integrity. I'm about the truth and not the polished narratives that leaders expect us to swallow. As a former reporter, I believe in a free press, but a balanced press is extremely hard to find because they need advertising dollars to keep afloat, so they often sell out. I believe that music, art, cuisines, traditions, and culture are powerful ways to express the human spirit, mind and condition, and should be enjoyed and preserved, and never be banned or confiscated. I despise the actions of colonization of Native Americans, I often refer to events in history that have actually happened and are documented, so the truth can't be distorted and twisted. And I think we need to build a wall around Wyoming. LOL

History Lessons: Do It Better!

I was a judge for the Riverton Invitational Speech & Debate Tournament this last weekend, and what an experience it was. Thankfully, the ambulance station is right across the street from the high school, so I was able to go straight from work and serve in the afternoons/evenings.

Even though my sessions were pre-assigned, when I walked through the doors and made my way to the judge's table, I learned quickly that things can change. I was originally assigned the Drama competition, but upon my arrival, I was re-assigned to the first round of Congressional, a category I wasn't even remotely prepared for. I was given a packet of bills and resolutions...items that I had zero time to peruse as I hurriedly set up my station with a laptop, notebook, and pen.

As protocols were met, and timers were set and reset, I watched the entire round take on a life of its own. As I listened to each competitor give their speeches--for or against, pros and cons--I was caught in a whirlwind of issues ranging from gun rights, driver's license renewal extensions, and bail reform. As a judge, I was restrained from the influences of my own views, opinions, and biases...solely concentrating on the content and performance of each speaker. By the end of the round, my brain was literally spent. I was told that it was a good thing to be thrown into Congress first, because then the rest of my sessions for the remainder of the tournament would be a piece of cake! And they were (to some extent).

Competition: How do you pick just one?

From the age of three years old on up through high school, I was immersed in the world and dimensions of music. My teachers, professors, and my own mother drilled me every single day. My brother, Mike, would drive me (scary thought, huh? LOL) from the high school to CWC for my piano lessons. My dad worked very hard to pay for all my lessons and tuition. I would not be the musician I am had it not been for the incredible support system I was very blessed with from my youth.

I was born with perfect pitch, and when I was about eight years old, I had learned the first movement of Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 25 Opus 79, completely by ear. I entered my first piano competition when I was in middle school (the Baldwin Competition), and all throughout my high school years, I was in so many music festivals and piano/vocal competitions that my head was swimming back then, too! I was practicing constantly. I was focused and driven. I was so young when I was thrown into the world of competition and barely had time for much else.

The thing I loved most about competitions? Yes, a part of it was about doing my best and making myself, my parents, and my professors proud. But to me, it wasn't about winning. It was about meeting the other pianists, traveling to different places, meeting new people outside of my small town of Riverton, Wyoming. It was about the common language of music and the love of it that brought us together for a moment in time, connecting and expressing what was within us through our performances. When I won, I took the time to talk to and congratulate the other contestants, because the thing I could never comprehend was that, out of so many who delivered fantastic performances, the judges could only pick one winner. Everyone did such an amazing job. Sometimes I had "winners guilt": "You did your Bach Partita so much better than I did"..."Your Debussy piece made me cry." ... "I wish I had your long fingers, then maybe I could've done my Liszt like you!"  

That is what I saw at the speech and debate tournament this weekend. When I walked through the doors of my high school alma mater, I saw the camaraderie of hundreds of students, heard the buzz and laughter from groups of competitors sitting on the floor outside of classrooms, saw individuals practicing outside in the cold, even in the restroom! I saw competitors hugging each other, congratulating each other.

Most of all, I realized how very difficult it was to be a judge. So many incredible speeches...how do you pick a winner, or even just rate the top performers from 1 to 10? If I had my way, I'd pick all of you! 

Facing the fears

The real impact of the event didn't come until afterwards, when I came home and fell on the couch. I ended up judging Congress, Impromptu, Poetry, and Informative. There was one compelling speech that stood out in my mind, which was on the subject of fearmongering...how it was used in history, in the media, how it has impacted society and culture, past and present.

It made me ponder the subject of fear. I don't care who you are; if you're a performer, you have a certain degree of stage fright. I remember one competition where I couldn't control my left leg from shaking, which affected how I used the soft and sostenuto pedals. In the Baldwin competition, I had suddenly come down with a fever the day before. That was a particularly difficult challenge, but I got through it.

There are fears that people can and can't see, and it takes incredible strength to face whatever the fear, large or small, then make the decision to move forward in confidence, against all odds. Every performer I judged appeared before me with poise and confidence...something I could both appreciate and admire.

There IS hope for the future

Whether on or off stage, in or out of character, all of the speech and debate competitors I had the pleasure of judging made an impact on me...not just with their content and delivery, but with each of their dynamic personalities, their demeanors, and how respectfully they conducted themselves. We should all be so very proud! After the Congressional session, I wanted to tell each and every one in that room to "Please! Run for office!"

I left the tournament with a renewed hope for the future. They ARE our future! In a world where there is so much chaos and imbalance, I had a sense of relief, knowing that our youth are being equipped to change their communities and the world, wherever their paths may lead.

Our children and youth are always watching us. They're smart: they know how they feel. They see the unrest and injustices in the world, and know the issues very, very well. They know hypocrisy when they see it; they can see through the "do what I say and not as I do." They know the mistakes and failures in history and have gained mature perspectives that many, many adults don't even have!

What have we learned from our history lessons? What have we learned from the World Wars? What have we learned from the Salem Witch trials? What have we learned from the Dark Ages, the Middle Ages, the Age of Discovery, the Industrial Age, the Age of Technology? What have we learned from generations upon generations of homicides, suicides, and genocides? What kind of world are we leaving our youth, children, and grandchildren?

Our youth know. There are enough fears in this world that can lead us down roads of discouragement and isolation. Fearmongering can influence the masses, create deep divides and roadblocks that inhibit progress. It can paralyze a tribe, a town, a city...induce a myriad of dramas and traumas, distracting us from what is important in building a better, healthier world.

"Every generation needs to do it better than the one before. Do it better."

My mother - who would roll up an old torn-up olive green office chair next to the pink upright antique piano - spent countless hours drilling me to practice, practice, practice. I was so very young, and I would often cry and say, "I can't, I can't!" But she would invariably and determinedly say, "Yes, you CAN!" (She also told me that she never wanted to hear the words "I can't!" coming out of my mouth ever again, so there's that. LOL) I practiced until I believed I could...that I knew I could.

A message to our youth: Do it better. Do it better than your parents, your teachers, the government, and past/present administrations. Be better doctors, lawyers, senators, legislators, entrepreneurs, CEOs, business owners. Learn from our mistakes, and be better human beings. Believe that you can. Know that you can. Speak with confidence.

And say it loud...say it clear.