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Even though my sessions were pre-assigned, when I walked through the doors and made my way to the judge's table, I learned quickly that things can change. I was originally assigned the Drama competition, but upon my arrival, I was re-assigned to the first round of Congressional, a category I wasn't even remotely prepared for. I was given a packet of bills and resolutions...items that I had zero time to peruse as I hurriedly set up my station with a laptop, notebook, and pen.
As protocols were met, and timers were set and reset, I watched the entire round take on a life of its own. As I listened to each competitor give their speeches--for or against, pros and cons--I was caught in a whirlwind of issues ranging from gun rights, driver's license renewal extensions, and bail reform. As a judge, I was restrained from the influences of my own views, opinions, and biases...solely concentrating on the content and performance of each speaker. By the end of the round, my brain was literally spent. I was told that it was a good thing to be thrown into Congress first, because then the rest of my sessions for the remainder of the tournament would be a piece of cake! And they were (to some extent).
Competition: How do you pick just one?
From the age of three years old on up through high school, I was immersed in the world and dimensions of music. My teachers, professors, and my own mother drilled me every single day. My brother, Mike, would drive me (scary thought, huh? LOL) from the high school to CWC for my piano lessons. My dad worked very hard to pay for all my lessons and tuition. I would not be the musician I am had it not been for the incredible support system I was very blessed with from my youth.
I was born with perfect pitch, and when I was about eight years old, I had learned the first movement of Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 25 Opus 79, completely by ear. I entered my first piano competition when I was in middle school (the Baldwin Competition), and all throughout my high school years, I was in so many music festivals and piano/vocal competitions that my head was swimming back then, too! I was practicing constantly. I was focused and driven. I was so young when I was thrown into the world of competition and barely had time for much else.
The thing I loved most about competitions? Yes, a part of it was about doing my best and making myself, my parents, and my professors proud. But to me, it wasn't about winning. It was about meeting the other pianists, traveling to different places, meeting new people outside of my small town of Riverton, Wyoming. It was about the common language of music and the love of it that brought us together for a moment in time, connecting and expressing what was within us through our performances. When I won, I took the time to talk to and congratulate the other contestants, because the thing I could never comprehend was that, out of so many who delivered fantastic performances, the judges could only pick one winner. Everyone did such an amazing job. Sometimes I had "winners guilt": "You did your Bach Partita so much better than I did"..."Your Debussy piece made me cry." ... "I wish I had your long fingers, then maybe I could've done my Liszt like you!"
That is what I saw at the speech and debate tournament this weekend. When I walked through the doors of my high school alma mater, I saw the camaraderie of hundreds of students, heard the buzz and laughter from groups of competitors sitting on the floor outside of classrooms, saw individuals practicing outside in the cold, even in the restroom! I saw competitors hugging each other, congratulating each other.
Most of all, I realized how very difficult it was to be a judge. So many incredible speeches...how do you pick a winner, or even just rate the top performers from 1 to 10? If I had my way, I'd pick all of you!
Facing the fears
The real impact of the event didn't come until afterwards, when I came home and fell on the couch. I ended up judging Congress, Impromptu, Poetry, and Informative. There was one compelling speech that stood out in my mind, which was on the subject of fearmongering...how it was used in history, in the media, how it has impacted society and culture, past and present.
It made me ponder the subject of fear. I don't care who you are; if you're a performer, you have a certain degree of stage fright. I remember one competition where I couldn't control my left leg from shaking, which affected how I used the soft and sostenuto pedals. In the Baldwin competition, I had suddenly come down with a fever the day before. That was a particularly difficult challenge, but I got through it.
There are fears that people can and can't see, and it takes incredible strength to face whatever the fear, large or small, then make the decision to move forward in confidence, against all odds. Every performer I judged appeared before me with poise and confidence...something I could both appreciate and admire.
There IS hope for the future
Whether on or off stage, in or out of character, all of the speech and debate competitors I had the pleasure of judging made an impact on me...not just with their content and delivery, but with each of their dynamic personalities, their demeanors, and how respectfully they conducted themselves. We should all be so very proud! After the Congressional session, I wanted to tell each and every one in that room to "Please! Run for office!"
I left the tournament with a renewed hope for the future. They ARE our future! In a world where there is so much chaos and imbalance, I had a sense of relief, knowing that our youth are being equipped to change their communities and the world, wherever their paths may lead.
Our children and youth are always watching us. They're smart: they know how they feel. They see the unrest and injustices in the world, and know the issues very, very well. They know hypocrisy when they see it; they can see through the "do what I say and not as I do." They know the mistakes and failures in history and have gained mature perspectives that many, many adults don't even have!
What have we learned from our history lessons? What have we learned from the World Wars? What have we learned from the Salem Witch trials? What have we learned from the Dark Ages, the Middle Ages, the Age of Discovery, the Industrial Age, the Age of Technology? What have we learned from generations upon generations of homicides, suicides, and genocides? What kind of world are we leaving our youth, children, and grandchildren?
Our youth know. There are enough fears in this world that can lead us down roads of discouragement and isolation. Fearmongering can influence the masses, create deep divides and roadblocks that inhibit progress. It can paralyze a tribe, a town, a city...induce a myriad of dramas and traumas, distracting us from what is important in building a better, healthier world.
"Every generation needs to do it better than the one before. Do it better."
My mother - who would roll up an old torn-up olive green office chair next to the pink upright antique piano - spent countless hours drilling me to practice, practice, practice. I was so very young, and I would often cry and say, "I can't, I can't!" But she would invariably and determinedly say, "Yes, you CAN!" (She also told me that she never wanted to hear the words "I can't!" coming out of my mouth ever again, so there's that. LOL) I practiced until I believed I could...that I knew I could.
A message to our youth: Do it better. Do it better than your parents, your teachers, the government, and past/present administrations. Be better doctors, lawyers, senators, legislators, entrepreneurs, CEOs, business owners. Learn from our mistakes, and be better human beings. Believe that you can. Know that you can. Speak with confidence.
And say it loud...say it clear.
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