Sunday, May 4, 2025

Unorthodox Christianity: I wish that I knew what I know now...

"Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns..." (Exodus 20: 8-11)

I look forward to Sundays. It's the one day out of my busy work week to relax, regroup, rejuvenate...to cleanse my body and my soul of the soup I have to swim through during the work week.

I was a church-goer all my life. I was adopted and raised in the Mormon church, started playing the piano for Primary at the age of eight, and the organ for services at the age of nine. I became a Stake music director when I was at BYU, and was a Ward music director in every ward I served in (every 'calling' I received had to do with music). I was a composer and arranger, had my music performed on Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and wrote two cantatas (my Easter cantata was performed at the Oakland temple).

After I left Mormonism, I was a keyboardist in a few worship teams, and eventually became a music director for some Christian denominations, namely the Southern Baptist Convention and the Episcopal church. For thirty-five years, I dedicated countless hours of rehearsal and performance time with my choirs and worship teams for Sunday services.

Now on Sundays, I sleep without an alarm. I spend my time practicing my hand-carved Native wood flute. I drink a lot of water. I visit my daughter and my grand-puppies, call my son, have coffee with friends I didn't have time for during the week. If the weather permits, I take short road trips to the prairie, the mountains, the river. I check my garden and watch it grow. I pray and burn cedar or lavender buds...the smoke rising and the fragrances reminding me Whose day this is.

When I started back at EMS, I was told that my work hours would be Tuesday through Saturday. Perfect! I was issued a work phone, but it took me a while to train a few crew members (and even myself) that I would not answer the phone on Sundays. I have told a lot of my friends: "Don't mess with my day of rest!"

"Remember the Sabbath Day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. (Exodus 20:-9-10).

"If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Therefore, it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath." (Matthew 12: 11-12)

The Corporatization of Christianity
Simply put, it began with the Council of Nicea in 325 AD, beginning with a gathering, a meeting among men to develop a strategic plan for marketing Jesus Christ to the growing masses of believers. Eventually, the Council of Carthage would decide what would or would not go into the canon of scripture now known as the Holy Bible, which would be divided into two sections, the Old Testament and the New Testament. Along the way, there would be scriptures that were deemed as heretical, such as the Apocrypha (Christian theologians, correct me if I'm wrong).

Today, there are many denominations and offshoots of Christianity, all with their different creeds, rituals, traditions, cultures, priests, pastors, teachers, missionaries, etc. all of whom go out competing, Bible in hand, for the ears of would-be believers. There have been a myriad of interpretations and  translations of this book made by those who have claimed to be "inspired" to make such additions and changes. Some for language and clarity; others who want to put in their own doctrinal spins and agendas, and yet others calling themselves "prophets" for the purpose of gaining followers.

But what did Jesus say?
The Gospels are four books in the Bible - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. They are called the Gospels because they are (the account and definition of) the good news of Jesus' life, teachings, death, and resurrection. It is the only section of the Bible scripture where we pretty much know anything about what Jesus said or did during his lifetime (Matthew was known as Jesus' scribe). Throughout my own Journey as a believer in Jesus, I've always gravitated and stuck to the content of these four gospels. Eventually, Jesus was crucified by the Roman government and the rest is, well...history. There are many throughout time who have come after Jesus saying "lo here! and lo there" (Matthew 24:23), but for the most part, the Gospels are all we have.

Jesus preached a New Commandment, the greatest commandment...to Love. To love God, and love your neighbor as yourself (the Golden Rule). His life was one of healing the blind, lame, and the lost, calling people out on their bull, and to beware of false prophets and hypocrites, past, present, and future. The Gospels have been the message of Christ for nearly 2000 years, and it is obvious that we haven't listened, nor put his words into action.

And here we are...how's that working for us? Prophecy can be inspired, but it is also mathematical, based on probability. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, a politician, a pastor, preacher or a self-annointed "prophet" to look back at the patterns of history and say that somewhere, along the way, we as a human race have made a lot of bad choices and grievous mistakes. You can make choices, but you cannot choose the consequences.

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." (Matthew 6:24, KJV)

A Christian Nation?
There are several large denominations of Christianity. The Catholic church is the largest, then you have several branches of Protestantism. The Southern Baptist Convention is pretty huge, as is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon), which is the one I was raised in. Then you have even more sub-denominations, mega-churches, splinter groups, and cults that have formed throughout history, right down to simple Bible study groups. The structure of these groups usually has a leader/leaders, plus an organizational and worship structure that determines how their believers will follow and conform.

Throughout my spiritual Journey, I have learned about how many of these structures work. For example, I've been a part of non-denominational churches (or at least they call themselves 'non-denominational'), yet those leaders must answer to an authoritative or corporate hierarchy. As you can see with the Council of Nicea, when you have a growing membership, you have to have some sort of order and structure. None of the worship teams I was on ever required membership; however, as a Music Director with the Southern Baptist Convention, I told them that I would never sign the dotted line as a member of a church or religion ever again. In response, I was told that if I wanted my paycheck, I'd have to sign. That was the protocol/structure. So I did.

I said the same in my interview with the Episcopal church. I said, "I'll do the music for you, but I will never become a member." The pastor (bless her heart) said she had never heard of such a thing. Their congregation was small but mighty in their compassion and outreach for their community. I volunteered at the Interfaith Food Bank. I was on the community outreach committee and a women's group. I grew to love that church family very much, and in return, always felt welcomed and very much loved. Perhaps my favorite service was when we had a Celtic Hymn Sing, where we brought in a local Celtic band and sang old Celtic songs and hymns. Music is a very powerful means of worship, reaching those waves and frequencies of Light, Life, Love and Truths reverberating within our souls, connecting with our communities in a very special way.

"I am the Way, the Truth and the Life..."

In my opinion, if you call yourself (or even pretend to be) a Christian, you should read the whole chapter of Matthew 6 to know how Christ wanted everyone to live and be. The Sermon on the Mount is a good start, but also read the stories, the parables. The Good Samaritan, the Parable of the Sower, the Mustard Seed, the Lamp Stand...the Rich Man. Read about how he healed the blind man (a story especially relevant to me last year); read about all of his miracles. Read about how and why he threw the temple tables down, and defied the political narratives and authorities of his day. It is so ironic why and how the Light of the World was crucified, yet history has clearly shown that we continue to crucify Him over and over again.

I now know why I've been taken down so many roads and side roads on my spiritual Journey. After so many weary travels, being distracted and enticed by other paths, struggling with the demons of abuse, domestic violence, alcohol, and other synthetic poisons...I finally feel like I'm home, both physically and spiritually.

Every culture has its traditions, ceremonies, rituals, myths, fables, and stories. Never have I experienced such an outpouring of wisdom from people who have taught me the (true) Arapaho Way. As I learn more about my Native family and culture, there are many wonderful teachings and truths that I store within my heart, mind, and soul. I've met with, had coffee with, and 'sat at the knee' of many good people in the tribe who have and continue to show me the Way. I have a lot of love for my tribal family, and I know I can do a lot of good.

That said...good is not without bad, love is not without hate, light is not without darkness.  Alcohol and sugar have become the cholera blankets. War and greed have destroyed lands and are now called "property". Churches, families, and tribes are now cliquish, gang-like, mafia-type organizations. Wise ones are replaced by kings, presidents, and CEOs.

Arapaho Truths by Moonstar Productions

Throughout my life, I know that God and so many ancestors before me have travelled with me, leading me here. There were lessons I needed to be taught. Many lessons that I refused to listen to. Many lessons that, if I had been mindful and listened to my ancestors and others who my Creator put in my path, I may have learned a lot earlier rather than later. But I've also learned that everything has purpose...the good, the bad and the ugly...and my child-like faith has carried me through, even though my compass went wonky many, many times!

We are a continent that is sick and hurting. Hurting ourselves, hurting each other, hurting the land, water, and sky. We have allowed politics and corporations to hurt us, govern us, dictate to us, program us, punish us...tell us who we are and what we should be. That isn't freedom. That isn't respect for God, the earth, the sky, and every creation that speaks Truth. That isn't respect for the martyrs of wisdom and faith who spoke the Truth, and then were killed to silence them.

 That is called slavery.

The Greatest

"Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one child such in my name welcomes me.'" (Matthew 18: 1-5)

As we struggle through all the political, corporate and religious narratives (I call it "the soup")...my hope is that we can all someday (and someday soon!) just stop what we're doing, take a look at ourselves, and really think about what and who we're believing, what we're saying, and most of all, how we are acting towards one another. How we treat all Creation. How and what we are teaching our children.

"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." (Matthew 7:15-20)

We are not born atheists. We are not born as thieves, abusers, murderers, gang members, slave owners, hypocrites, destroyers, or power-hungry oligarchs. We are all born into this world with a faith that inherently guides us. With all the confusion and noise that is going on in this world we've created for ourselves, I often tell folks to listen to your "gut". You were born with it. Simple, child-like faith was given to you by your Creator, not mankind. (I was told this many years ago by a friend who practices Wiccan. Her message to me was as true then as it is now.)

So if belief systems of society are telling you what is, how to be, what or who you are, those are huge red flags right there. Nobody's really listening anymore; there's way too much noise. How many more years do people have to suffer and die before we learn this crucial lesson? How long before we finally listen, pick up the tools our Creator and ancestors have placed in front of us, and go down The Good Road? 

Do it the way your Creator tells you to do it. The way Jesus told you to do it, the way all the wise and good Ones before us did it. Be mindful of your steps, your words, your thoughts, your actions. I guarantee you, you won't be without struggles against opposition, against the beasts and demons, both seen and unseen...

But it will lead you home.

Carol "Sweet Singing Woman" Harper


"I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger..."
Chorus from "Ooh la la" by Ron Lane and Ronald Wood


(Made ya sing it!) 😉



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